From The Inside
by FireBird1211
Summary: Roxas and Sora moved to Destiny Islands for a new beginning, and a chance at a do over. It went pretty well until Axel came into play. Then everything changed for Roxas. The past follows and the future dims. What will Roxas do in a time of panic? AU ; AkuRoku and SoRiku. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_Falling.  
I'm falling. Deeper into the black abyss.  
surrounding me  
filling my lungs  
choking me_

_ I can't breathe..._

_c a n' t . . . _

* * *

Hi.  
I'm Roxas Strife, and welcome to my life. Or, the small peice that I care to write down, anyway.  
I was told going through my problems with this little black book would help.  
I'm still waiting.

We're on the road. Sora ( my twin brother ) and I will be going to " Grey Water Academy ".

Charming, isn't it?

And before you even bother asking, little black book, no I don't have two parents. Mom walked out on us about 6 months ago. Hence, our new beginning in Destiny Islands.  
Well, I think you're up to date. 3 hours of the trip to go.

I'm going to sleep.  
- Roxas Strife

* * *

"Roxas!"  
I jumped from my chair where I slept in the car, gasping for air.  
The hell kind of a dream is that? I lazily looked up at who yelled, only to see Sora's too-perky-to-be-true face.  
"Roxas, don't be a bum! We're finally here! We have to get moved in~! School is tomorroooowwww~~!" The smile on his face was almost audible, he was smiling so hard.  
"Boy, don't be lazy! Pick up one of those damn boxes! " Sora and I both winced, quickly getting up to help dad before anything got nasty.

Picking up one of the boxes, I turned to Sora, who was staring into nothingness. Concrete can't be_ that_ interesting.  
"Sora... " Nothing. He didn't move. " Sor... 'ey, Sora? " I walked over to him, putting down the box & shaking him. " Sora, snap out of it!"  
He blinked rapidly, his eyes refocusing. "Sorry! Zoned out!" He smiled widely again, and went to go get his own box to take into the new house.  
I picked my box back up, and entered through the propped-open doorway. Masses of peach-colored walls and ugly furniture we never owned graced my eyes. Er, maybe graced isn't the word.

I continued into the hallway, looking at the roof for my trap door. I don't get the privilege of a normal room, apparently. Finally finding the door, I set down my box to open it up.  
I slowly started pulling on the string for the trap door, watching as the ladder descended. All in a rush, the smell of mothballs hit me, like one big smell bomb.  
"Oh, _lovely_..." I sighed quietly as I picked my box back up, climbing the ladder into my room. The overall space of the room was small and cramped, with paint peeling in obvious spots and dust coating every available surface.

I put my box down, looking out the window on the far wall. The view was absolutely stunning. You could see the coastline from here for Christs sake! Maybe living here wont be so bad after all..?  
The doorbell sang across the house, alerting us of someone at the door. Naturally, Sora yelled coming while skipping down the hall. I don't even have to see him to know that.

I descended my ladder, almost falling a couple times. Gotta get used to that, I guess...  
I walked up to the door, scratching my head as I eyed the guy at the door.  
"Uh... hello?"  
"Hi!" The blonde guy jumped over a bit, waving in front of me frantically. He was tall and _god awful_ skinny. And - is that a mullet? Who the hell has those anymore? Yet, he continued talking.  
"I just wanted to welcome the Strife's to the neighborhood! ... This _is_ the Strife household, right?" The blue-eyed male suddenly got really worried. Looks like he and Sora will be good friends.  
"Oh, yeah! It is!" Sora responded, reassuring him. "What's your name? Are you going to Grey Water...?"  
"Yup! The names Demyx. And my buddy," he said gesturing to the shabby car he came in," is named Riku. We're the welcoming committee! Are you guys coming to school tomorrow?" He tilted his head ever so slightly upon delivering the question.  
"Oh, yeah! We will!" Sora smiled, waving at 'Riku' in the car. The poor soul was too scared to wave back. "We'll see you tomorrow! We'll definitely need help finding our way!"  
Demyx smiled and nodded, heading back to his car. He suddenly stopped, turning around. "I nearly forgot! What's your names?"  
"Sora!" Sora hollered back, smiling.  
"...Roxas." I murmured from behind him.  
"Alright! Seeya tomorrow, Sora and Roxas! " He smiled one last time before climbing into the passenger side door and driving off. "Aaaaaaaaalright then..." I mumbled as I walked back into the hall and pulled the trap door down for my room. "Hey, Sora. If dad asks, i'm packing and heading off to bed."  
"Alright, Roxas! Night!" Sora smiled, waving.

I climbed up my ladder, flopping down onto the floor as soon as I lifted myself up. I turned my head slightly to see if there was a mattress in the room. Spotting it in the far corner, I crawled over, and lay down on it, falling asleep almost instantly.

With a rough nights sleep, a blaring siren woke me for school. At 6 in the fucking morning.  
Also known as, way too early.  
There was a note taped to the alarm clock reading, " Thought this may help! c: - Sora "  
"...Typical." I sighed, pulling my clothes out of my still packed box and onto my body.  
After taking about 30 minutes to do my hair, I descended my ladder and greeted Sora at the door.  
"Ready to go, Sora?"  
"Yup!" I grabbed the keys off of the newly installed key rack, and headed for my car.  
After a short 20 minute car ride to the school, I parked my car as far away from the hell-hole as possible. I didn't see Demyx, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't miss him inside.  
Sora and I out out, and braced ourselves at the front doors of the school.

Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for my descent into hell.

* * *

AN: Hi! :3  
Yes, i'm making an attempt at a fanfiction. I know its slow to get moving, but I didn't want this chapter to be _too_ long. ^^"  
Please review! This is my first time with first-person, and i'm really worried this isn't anything good at all ever. xD  
And if you're good with names, I need last names for basically everyone in Kindgom Hearts. If you like doing that kinda thing, have at it xD Credit will be given to the ones I go with~!  
Thank you!  
I love you all c: 3


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as the doors opened, a mass of white assaulted my eyes. _Everything_ was white. Sora and I started walking down the halls, looking for Demyx to help us find our classes and such.

Somewhere near the cafeteria, I spotted the blonde ( and his idiotic haircut ) standing with a large group of friends, all laughing and smiling.

"Ooooooooh no, i'm not doing this. It shouldn't be that hard to find my classes." I muttered to Sora, eyeing the group warily. They all look like classic asshole types, honestly. One of them even seems to _reek_ of asshole.

"Oh, come on Roxas! This isn't a time to wuss out!" Sora smiled and dragged me to the group. He tapped on Demyx on the shoulder, still smiling. "Hey, Demyx!"  
Demyx turned, smiling at Sora and I. "Oh, hey! Do you need help finding your classes? Lemme see your schedule!" Sora obediently handed over his schedule, and I reluctantly handed over mine. "It seems you have a lot of the same classes with Riku! And Roxas, you're with me! How 'bout it then, Riku?" He turned to the sliver haired guy in the circle, smiling. "Show him around?"  
"Yeah, sure." Riku took the outstretched schedule, smiling lightly at Sora. "Follow me."

And just like that, Sora left me to the sharks. I'll kick him for it, later.

Looking over everyone in the group, I noticed the guy that seemed to be the leader of the assholes was staring at me. Finally getting a good look at him, I noticed the firey red hair and his bright green eyes. For a second, I wondered if his hair was dyed and his eyes were contacts.  
Only after did I realize I was staring for too long.

"What're you looking at, punk?" He said, practically spitting venom in my face. All I could do was stare back and murmur sorry.  
"'ey, Axel. Don't be an ass. We're all friends here," Demyx said. He was obviously trying to calm Axel down, but it didn't seem to be working. Short temper, seems familiar.

"Fine, fine. What's the twerps name?" He gestured to me in a less-than-caring manner.  
"His name is Roxas, Axel. Be _polite _and tell him what your name is." Demyx crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his foot with a particularly good rhythm.  
The red head turned to me, scowling. "The name's Axel," he moved his finger to his temple," Got it memorized?"  
"Uh. . . yeah. "I responded, scratching the back of my head. I turned to Demyx, my face pleading with him. "Can we go? I need to talk to my first period teacher..."

"Oh yeah, Roxas! Lets see..." The blonde trailed off, looking at my schedule in his hands. "It seems you have Freeman first period. English II Honors? Well, look at you!" Demyx laughed, smiling. I was vaguely aware of the look on Axel's face. What's he smirking at? Demyx's voice brought me back from my thoughts. "C'man, lets go."

With that, he led me away from the group, whispering to me. "Sorry about Axel.. He can be kind of an asshole to new kids. But trust me, he's so cool once you get to know him."

"Uh.. I'll take your word for it, Dem." I whispered, following him down the labyrinth of halls. I'm now doubting that I could ever hope to find my way through this school.

"I do have to warn you, Axel's in your first period. Try not to die? I'm in most of your other periods but this one, so all you have to do is survive this period." So thats why he was smirking. Huh. I smiled back at the blonde, opening the door to my first period just as the bell rang.

"I'll live. There's only so many things he can do to me, right?" I replied, catching the door with my foot. "Thank you!"

"No prob, Roxy poo~" Demyx smiled, waving. Roxy poo? I guess i'll address that later, no time to now. I walked through the door to English looking out over the class. Axel was the first one to stick out to me. He seemed pretty involved in a conversation with some girl, who looked _way_ too into him. Ew?

I turned my attention to Mr. Freeman, who was looking at me expectantly. "Roxas Strife, its my first day."

"Oh, yes! Class, this is Roxas. Be nice." Mr. Freeman nudged me into a seat in the corner of the room. Doing me a favor, I presume. I sat down quietly, looking around the room a bit. This man definitely likes Shakespeare that's for sure. There are at least 10 posters strewn around the room.

A note flopped into my lap from my right. I looked over, the girl who tossed it was smiling and winking. Oh god.  
If its not very obvious, i'm not quite into girls. God no, not gay. Just kind of a... neutral party. Asexual? I don't quite know the term for it.  
Opening the note, I read and died with every word that I read;__

heyyyyyy bby, u r a q-t pie.  
_r u interstid in couple?_

For one, how in the **hell** did this girl get into honors? Send her back, she's defective. I started going through and correcting her grammar, and I added at the bottom;

_Maybe when you learn how to spell, sweetcheeks._

I passed the note back to her and smiled at her, watching her face brighten.  
Oh, i'm an asshole. Send me to hell, I obviously need it.  
She opened it, and her face turned to pure shock. Then of course, rage. She angrily crumpled the note.

Maybe a bit _too_ loudly.  
Mr. Freeman walked over to the girl who had the note and opened it up. As soon as he looked at it, he laughed very audibly.  
"Son, I like you." He set the note down on my desk, and went back to teaching.

After English, I walked towards my next class, meeting Demyx.  
"How'd you survive?" He asked, popping open a water bottle and drinking about half on the spot.  
"Good. Girl asked me out, rejected her with correct grammar." I responded, pulling the note out of my pocket. How can someone chug water that fast? Its like he's part fish.

"What do you mean..?" He asked, tilting his head as he closed the water bottle. I handed him the note, and he busted out laughing. "Nice, dude! Thats the best!" He kept laughing, practically gliding to our next class. "You up for hanging out today?"  
"Nah, I have work to do at home today. I still haven't unpacked." I laughed a bit, feeling better. Maybe Destiny Islands wont be so bad, after all.  
"Alright, dude! Have fun unpacking~!" He opened the door into math, and settled into his seat.

In the middle of Math, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket and woke me from my day dreaming.

_**Sora (8:48):**_** Hey, i'm not getting a ride today. I'm hanging out with Riku and Demyx for a while. Save me some dinner?**

Typical. Sora makes friends so easy. And i'm not about to ground him down by making him stay home.

_**Me (8:51):**_** Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you whenever you get home.**

I clicked off my phone, and went back to zoning out.

Without realizing it, I had drifted through the day with no hitches. I walked up to my car, and saw Axel leaning against it casually.  
"Uh? Can I help you?" I asked, getting my keys out of my bag. I seriously don't need this guy being an ass. I can already feel the problems that will stem from him hating me.

"Look, i'm here to tell you," Axel lifted off of my car, pushing me back a bit, "Just because Demyx is too nice, does _not_ mean that we're _friends, _alright? I do not like you, and I never will." He put his finger to his temple again, the same way he did this morning. "Got it memorized?"  
"Uh... yeah." I nodded, unlocking my car and opening the door. "Can I leave now? Or do I need to ask permission?" I rolled my eyes, getting into the car and pulling out.  
He held up his middle finger at me, scowling again.  
Charming.

I pulled into my parking space on the driveway, noting dad's car in the driveway. He's home, I need to be careful.  
I got out and headed for the front door, opening it up.  
"Hey dad, i'm home... Sora's hanging out with some friends today. He wont be back till later. He told me to tell you..." I spoke quietly and carefully, trying not to anger him.

"Y'know what pisses me off, boy?" Dad walked in, beer bottle in hand. Everything about him screamed drunk. His breath absolutely reeked, his eyes glassed over. Hell, he couldn't even hold himself upright! "The fact your ungrateful ass self can't even fucking unpack your _one_ _damnbox_!"

He threw the bottle in my direction, just as I ducked out of the way. The bottle exploded into tiny bits on the wall behind me.  
"I-I'm sorry.. I didn't mean -"  
"Don't feed me that bullshit about how you didn't mean to do it! Like hell you did!" He picked up one of the shards from the bottles, gashing my forearm deeply. I gave a small yelp, holding still. "You _know_ I don't want you moving away! You deserve this punishment! You ungrateful little shit!"

He yelled, throwing his fist straight into my eye. I yelped again and fell back, glass getting into my hands and most of my back. Before I could get up, he was on me again, punching me and slashing up and down my body. As he spoke, each word was a new cut or bruise on my body.  
"You _know_ you don't tell _**anyone**_ about this. This is your payment for me not throwing your _sorry ass_ into the streets!"  
I held in the scream I had rising in my throat and nodded, wishing this to end.

And with another punch, everything went black.

* * *

AN: Hi again! c: I hope this is a good chapter!  
God its long _ But I needed to include that last bit in this chapter. And I didn't want to rush anything, so.  
I hope this is good! Keep reviewing with ideas and comments, I love them!  
And you c;  
Bye my lovelies~


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up, rubbing my head warily. The past events caught up to me in a rush. I made an attempt to sit up, only to feel my stomach and back scream in protest. Looking around, I noticed I was in my room.  
He must've shoved me here before Sora came home. Looking at the alarm clock that Sora installed, I saw its 2 AM. Ugh. And I probably wont get any sleep tonight.

Sighing, I turned on the light so I could look at myself and assess the damage that dad did. I grabbed my black book and a pen, and let the ink fly.

_Hi again.  
Look, book. I don't think I was totally honest with you the last time we talked...  
My dad got a divorce, right?  
Well, I look a lot like my mom. Dad has a really short temper, and...  
Yeah.  
The most it goes normally is him taking out his temper, but...  
Lets just say i'm not a virgin.  
Hence, I can't really like anyone the way other people do. Its strange, but true. I'm so scared i'm just going to get hurt in the end.  
Then, there's this kid.  
His name's Axel. And he absolutely _scares_ me. Not because he's big or strong or anything like that.  
He's too much like dad.  
Now, excuse me book.  
I'm going to go pick glass out of my back and hands.  
-Roxas Strife_

Setting the book down, I started picking glass out of my hands. The last thing I need right now is an infection.  
Though, I can't get most of my back...  
But I can't tell Sora. I'm not going to scare him. Not ever.  
I sighed a bit, wrapping up my arms with bandaging. I don't want people finding out or assuming something wrong.

But i'm really...really...tired...

* * *

" Roxas! Come on, we need to leave for school! _**Now!**_ " I jumped, rubbing the drool off of my face.  
" H-Huh? " I turned to the clock and nearly had a heart attack. "Shit! Start the car, i'll out in two seconds!"  
Sora nodded, sprinting down my ladder ( if that's even possible ) to start the car while I get dressed. I left my sweat pants on, but threw on a loose t-shirt and jacket. No time to think, just go.

I ran down the hall and out the door, slamming the door behind me. I flopped into the drivers seat, turning to Sora. "Ready, Sor?"  
He looked at me and hissed ever so slightly.  
"Your eye, Roxas..." my hand instantly flew to my eye self-consciously. I pulled my mirror down and hissed when I saw myself.  
"Damn, it looks worse than I thought..." I sighed, putting the car in motion.  
"What happened? Did you get into a fight?" Sora tilted his head, looking at me quizzically.  
"To be honest... I crashed into a pole at school. I was _so_ zoned out, I didn't even notice it. Don't tell anyone, okay? Its really embarrassing..."  
"Alright, Roxas!" Sora smiled and laughed a bit, and I puffed out my cheeks in fake embarrassment.  
I'm probably a little bit _too_ good at lying.

Walking into the doors of the school, I suddenly got self-conscious. What if someone makes fun of me?  
Demyx strode by quietly, suddenly noticing Sora and I. " Hey you twooooo..." He stopped in his tracks, staring at my eye. "Did something happen, Roxy? "  
"No no no! Just... Bathroom! Now!" I ran to the bathroom with Demyx on my heels and shut the door.

"Be careful! I can't have Sora suspecting anything!"  
"E-Expecting what? I'm so confused! " The blonde seemed frustrated Sighing, I started removing my jacket and my shirt. "Woah woah woah! I don't know you **_that_**well!" Demyx shrieked, covering his eyes.  
"Its not like that, Dem. Just... look." I turned, showing him the cuts and bruises and glass in my back.  
"M-My dad... He..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. I didn't want to hear it.  
"Oh god, Roxas. I didn't... i'm so sorry. How long has this been going on?" Demyx started plucking pieces of glass out of my back. I yelped when he pulled a large piece  
"About 6 months... I don't want to worry or scare Sora... Help me cover?"  
"Yeah, man! Of course!" Demyx nodded, turning me around. "Gimme your phone, i'll give you my number. You text or call me whenever you need me, okay?"  
I nodded and gave him my phone.

There was a loud banging at the door, someone wanted in. I rapidly pulled on my shirt, but not quick enough to get my jacket on.  
Axel burst through the door, staring at Demyx and I.

My fears grew with the smirk on his face. "Ohhhh, Demyxxxxx! Damn man, I knew you were gay, but _daaaaaaaaaamn_! This kid? This is priceless!" He busted up laughing, continuing. "But HE being gay?! Explains why he dished on Rosaline!" He kept laughing, but spotted my arms. Oh god, no.  
Nononononononononononono, not this. Please not this. Don't think-  
"HE'S AN EMO, TOO?! " With this, he could hardly talk, he was laughing so hard.  
"No, Axel, its not like that..." Demyx cut in, trying to save my ass.  
"I doubt it! Look at his arms! Awwww, are you trying to 'save' the suicidal kid?" He shook his head and sighed quietly. "There's only one thing that I can say to you, kiddo. _Kill yourself._ You're better off that way."  
"Hey, you shut up!" Demyx found his voice, bowing up at Axel. "You don't talk to him like that, asshole! He's been through more than you can ever hope to experience!"  
"You challenging me, blondie?!" Axel bowed back up at Demyx, muscles flexing in pure rage.  
"S-Stop! Both of you!" I yelled, gripping the bottom of my shirt angrily.  
"What're you gonna do, goldy locks? Cry to mommy?!" Axel said, getting up in my face.  
"_You shut your whore mouth before you regret it._" I could tell my voice was getting into that tone. The tone where I turn into my father.  
"E M O ." Axel smirked, feeling satisfied.  
And that's when I lost it.

I threw my fist for his face, hitting him square in the nose. I threw another punch, just as he ducked. My fist shattered the mirror, piercing my knuckles. Demyx started frantically calling 911.  
In my distraction, Axel grabbed my arm and punched my stomach Black dotted my vision and seared at the edges. I screamed, and curled into a ball defensively.  
Axel kept punching and kicking, and I had no more left in me. I cried, screaming. And before I could stop it, I started breaking down. Long after he stopped, I was crying and screaming for help.

I am absolutely broken.

* * *

AN: Hi again! c:  
So I have the next chapter written now, and i'm pretty happy about it. I'll post it tomorrow or something c:  
But anyway~  
Review and shtuffs! I love you all~


	4. Chapter 4

When I could finally _see, _I was staring at Demyx's face absently.  
"Rox...? Your eyes cleared a bit... You back?" Demyx asked, rubbing my shoulder a bit.  
"Y-Yeah.. What happened?" I asked, an involuntary shudder down my spine. What the hell happened? The last thing I remember was Axel's comment about my mom...  
"You and Axel got into a fight. He finally hit you, and you had a panic attack. I'm assuming over your father. I'm so sorry, Roxas..." He said, hugging me gently. I was still shaking.  
"What happened after that?"

"He was hitting you for a bit after you curled up on the ground, but when the screams came, he stopped. You sounded hysterical, Roxas... Though, he might quit picking on you now. I'm not 100% sure how he feels about all of it.  
Anyway, you're on your way to the hospital. You're staying 3 nights..." He trailed off, rubbing his forehead. When he continued, he looked genuinely sad. "Some of the cuts and bruises they assumed were from the fight, but others... well... They're Baker Acting you, Roxas. They think you cut yourself."  
"W-What?! Did Axel tell them that?! I-I'll-!"  
"I did, Rox. They started guessing correctly about your homelife. About your dad. I'm sorry if this messes up a lot for you, but I assumed the concequences would be worse if they questioned your dad and found out..." Demyx was talking in a rush, trying to get it all out. And I can't say i'm mad at him.  
He's more of a friend then i've ever had.

"I understand, Dem.. I'm not mad, thank you. You really did save my ass.." I trailed off, looking at myself, silently assessing the damage done.  
"But there's more, Rox..." Demyx trailed off again, looking sheepish.  
Please tell me you didn't tell Sora. Please tell me..  
"I told Axel. And he's in this ambulance."  
I jumped and looked up at Demyx. "Are you kidding? Please tell me you're kidding, and this is just some sick joke."  
He shook his head in response. I looked around, searching for the redhead. I spotted Axel, asleep in the corner. He woke up when the ambulance hit a bump, though. He looked at me and frowned a bit.  
I never really noticed how attractive Axel actually was. Like, classic rockstar type. That would explain a lot, I guess...  
I guess I just never really looked.

He crawled over to me and sat cross-legged beside me. I was about to tell him to keep his sympathy, he enveloped me in a giant hug. Damn, this boy is _strong. _I reluctantly wrapped my arms around him, returning the hug.  
With the action of hugging him, I felt the true _power_ of his muscles. He had more muscles than I thought he did.  
He whispered cautiously, probably trying to not scare me further. "I had no idea. I don't know what I was thinking... I..." He sighed a bit, the breath traveling down my neck and sending shivers down my spine. "Look, from here on out, you _are_ my friend. I think I was picking on you because you looked so weak and vulnerable. And _so many _people pull the 'Oh my life sucks because I don't get what I want when I want it because my parents hate me' act. I thought you were one of those. Hell, you _look_ like one of those. I wanted to break you out of it. Er, more like beat you out of it. But I didn't realize how fragile you really were. That the weak defenseless kid wasn't some act, that it was completely real." He continued whispering, and he didn't let go of me. "Whenever he does _that_ to you, my house is open. Its just me in the apartment, so your secret will be safe."

I nodded and whispered back, "Why are you being so nice now...? This is a really big turn around from earlier today..."  
"I feel like I need to protect you now. Like you're my business. When I saw you curled up on the ground, something snapped. I know what its like to feel alone, I experienced it myself. And I can tell you in that moment, I saw myself in you." He cleared his throat, shaking his head. "Not to go chick-flick on you or anything."  
I laughed a bit at that comment, relaxing. Then I realized we'd been hugging for too long, and released him. "S-Sorry! I didn't realize..."

He laughed, releasing me too. "You're fine. We're both going to the same place anyway, so I may need it."  
"DID II DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE?!" I shrieked horrified. I hate to even imagine that dad could be alive inside of me.  
"Oh, no! I"m getting Baker Acted, too. I'm a bit of a..." He trailed off, showing me his burnt arms, "pyromaniac."

"I never would've guessed..." I confessed honestly. His arms looked terrible. But yet, they had a strange beauty to them. These burns looked like he passed a lighter over his arm 10-20 times.  
"Most people don't. I'm fairly good at hiding the burns." He laughed again. "And funny enough, we're sharing the same room. Go figure."  
At that, the doors opened, waking a sleeping Demyx. I laughed at Demyx's temporary disorientation.  
"Alright, boys. Lets go." The ambulance attendant helped us out, stopping Demyx. "You can't go in, though. Come back in an hour, they'll be settled by then." Demyx nodded, waving goodbye to Axel and I.

Once we got into the hospital, they made us change into hospital gowns and a pair of their boxers. I was led into the room, and layed down by the nurse.  
"On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your pain?" The nurse asked me quietly. For the first time in a while, I started paying attention to the rhythmic throbbing of my body.  
"Hmmm... 7." I pulled a random number, just wanting the nurse to go away. No offense to her, but they're always so _annoying._  
She nodded and smiled, injecting another needle into my arm for the morphine.  
"I'll be back in an hour~" She chimed, walking out of the room.

Axel whistled, smirking. "Well, don't you look sexy in those fashionable hospital clothes."  
"Not too bad yourself." I said, winking. We both busted out laughing. "So, what do we do here? Do you know?" I asked a bit sheepishly. I have no idea what goes on in this part of the hospital.  
"Nothing serious. You stay in bed and sleep. They wont let you get up unless they seriously don't think you're gonna do anything bad to yourself. So you'll most likely have to get used to a bedpan." I made a face at the bedpan comment, and he laughed. "That's everyone's reaction, don't worry." He stopped short, turning to the window. "Hey, I think someone's here for you."

I turned to the window, to see Cloud's face up against the glass. He obviously wants in here, _bad._ Oh god, what if he thinks I honestly...  
"Axel, do I need to roll with this self-harm thing?"  
"If you don't want any suspicions, yes." Axel said, yawning.  
"A-Alright then..." I whispered, scared.  
"This should be good..." Axel muttered, obviously amused.

The nurse walked in, opening the door for Cloud. "Roxas, you have a visitor.  
"Oh my god." Cloud whispered, running to my side at the bed. Cloud is my cousin, and he tends to over react about _everything._ He isn't gonna get super emotional about it, but the world is always ending with him. "Are you okay? Oh my god. Why did you do this, Roxas? Why? Did you honestly want the end _that badly?_"  
"Y-Yeah..." I muttered quietly, completely unable to form any words. How does a suicidal teenager talk?!

"Why, Roxas? What sucks that bad?" Cloud asked, honestly disappointed.  
"I-I..." I was struggling for words, trying to think of _something. _"I miss mom. I miss mom so hard it hurts. Life is so hard trying to function without her." There was _some_ truth in there. Just kinda.. stretched a bit.  
"Yeah.. I guess that makes sense..." Cloud nodded, approving. "Hey, I have to go, okay? I'll see you in 3 days."  
I nodded, smiling. I was suddenly really tired. Cloud nodded and smiled, leaving and closing the door.

"Why am I so tired...?" I asked Axel, yawning.  
"Pain meds, they make you tired. Go to bed, it'll help." Axel said, rolling over on his side, away from me.  
As I watched him ( and slowly started falling asleep), I studied his body. I couldn't get over how muscular he really was. The muscles in his back and lower back flexed and relaxed as he fought to get comfortable.  
He really _is _attractive, honestly. I can see why girls throw themselves at him. And he does seem to have a really good personality once you get to know him.

He shifted again, his gown falling forward to reveal most of his ass. Of course its still covered by boxers, but _damn, _ he had a fine ass.  
My eyes drifted shut, and I entered the most peaceful sleep i've ever had.

* * *

AN: Hi!  
Two chapters in one day. _Wow, who has a life?_ Obviously not me. But eh xD  
This has to be my favorite chapter so far. c:  
Review please! I can use all of the criticism I can get :3  
I love you all~


	5. Chapter 5

When I woke up, Axel was already awake and staring at the TV absentmindedly. His eyes were drifting closed, but he seemed to be making an honest effort to stay awake. I rolled over a bit, and pain shot through my body. My hip and back throbbed in protest, and a small cry escaped my lips.  
Axel turned his head to me, an eyebrow raised. "You okay over there? Sounds like you're hurting…" I nodded frantically, unable to speak. Axel reached over ad smashed the nurse button, keeping an eye on me. "She'll give you pain meds for it. Hopefully you can get to sleep, too" He smiled reassuringly at me.  
The nurse walked in, asking "What's the problem?"  
Axel pointed to me and said "He's in pain. He couldn't hit the button so I did." The nurse turned to me, squatting down beside the bed where I hugged my stomach and bit my lip. She smiled and whispered "7?" I nodded frantically, and she attached a needle to me for the medication.

I sank deeper and de_eper into a numbed sleep._

_Falling_

_deeper into the abyss_

_swallowing me_

_suffocating_

_I can't breathe…_

_c a n ' t . . ._

I woke up, gasping for breath. My body shook uncontrollably, my breaths coming out in short bursts. I held my chest, rocking back and forth defensively. Axel jumped, snapping his head in my direction. "Roxas, are you okay?"  
My body shook, and I was unable to answer. Fear coursed through my veins, and pumped into my heart. My muscles stiffened, and I laid in a fetal position on the bed.  
Axel smacked the panic button, screaming for the nurse. She ran into the room, staring at me. "What's the problem here?!"  
"I-I think he's having a panic attack!" Axel shouted, struggling to get out of bed. The nurse pushed him back into the bed gently, trying to calm him down.  
"I'm sorry sir, but there isn't much we can do for panic attacks. There's medication, but it would take too long to kick in, and typically isn't useful in the middle of a panic attack…"  
"Do it anyway!" Axel screamed, getting mad. It felt like my brain was frozen, unable to form cohesive thoughts.  
The nurse ran over and injected a needle from a table out of my sight. The syringe had been waiting around, ready for me. The medicine felt like fire running in my veins, along with my fear. I screamed, holding my stomach. Axel jumped, getting angry with the nurse. "Do something!"  
"Sir, please calm down." The nurse said to Axel. She turned and squatted by me, looking into my eyes. She must've seen the raw fear running through me, because she guessed what I needed. She motioned to Axel, who got up out of the bed, and came up to mine. "Holding him might help….." She trailed off, and Axel nodded.

My body felt like it was made of lead. The medicine coursed through my veins, causing my body to shudder defensively. Axel gently lifted my upper half, wiggling underneath me trying not to hurt me. Once he got settled, he wrapped his arms around my body ever so carefully, and I started breathing faster.  
"Shhhhhh…." He hummed, setting my head against his chest. I tried to copy his breathing patterns, fighting to calm down. He petted my head, and my muscles tightened. I still couldn't breathe, and the fear was still flowing through my veins. He smoothed out my hair, rubbing my side as he rocked me gently.

I started crying, sobbing gently into Axel's chest. I'm not sure why I'm crying, though. What's there to cry at? Why am I freaking out so much? Axel comforted me, rocking me like I was a child. My body shook with the sobs, fighting to calm down.  
Axel whispered into my hair, making me shudder more. "I remember the panic attacks. This always helped me when my mother would rock me…" He trailed off a bit, still rocking. "Is this helping?"  
I nodded quietly, my body starting to relax a bit. It still felt like I couldn't breathe, but my muscles relaxed from their tensed position. The fire in my veins turned to ice, slowing down the frantic pumping of my heart. Axel noticed the change, rubbing my arm gently.

My body felt all warm and strange next to him, pressed against him like this. The feeling was very foreign, and I couldn't hope to understand it. My eyes started drifting shut, but I didn't _want_ to sleep yet. Sleep brings nightmares. What is the nightmare even getting caused by? I shuddered, snuggling my face into the crook of his neck. One, for warmth. Two, it was a reflex that I couldn't quite control. Before I even knew it, I had drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

AN: Hi my pretties!  
Sorry for such a late update, i've been super busy! And sorry for a shorter chapter _"  
But I finally got it finished and up! My power went out and killed this chapter _twice._  
Ugh ;n;

But anyway!  
Review and shtuffs c: I love you all!


	6. Chapter 6

When I woke up, I was covered in a blanket, and my pillow was breathing.  
I jumped a bit, before I remembered what had happened the night before. ( or what I assume was night, I'm not completely sure. )Axel had his arms wrapped around me, the bandages pressing against my side.  
_Axel was holding me?_  
Who _offers_ to hold their friend in a mental hospital?! Well, okay I guess this isn't exactly a normal situation, but still!  
Play it cool, Roxas. You're cool.

I wiggled a bit, rolling onto my other side and pressing my ear up against his chest. His heart beat thumped through my ears and into my own chest. His breaths were calm and collected, showing he was still deep asleep. My hand went up, snuggling between my ear and his chest. Axel stirred a bit, mumbling something unheard under his breath. I winced, stopping all movement but breathing.  
If i'm not careful, i'll wake him up. I tried to steady my breathing, leaning my head back down. Just go back to sleep, Roxas.

The door opened, and Sora walked in. He was accompanied by Demyx, who could hardly hold his laughter. I whipped around, hissing "Shut up!" in Demyx's direction. Axel stirred again, his head turning away from Demyx and Sora.  
"Do you want to explain, or should I assume the worst?" Demyx said, laughing.  
"I-I had a nightmare and a panic attack. He was only trying to help me. Jeez! I'm not _gay _Demyx!" I huffed, pouting.  
"Okay, okay." He said, laughing.  
"Where's dad?" I asked, scared of what I'd hear.  
"He's at work." Sora said, smiling. It doesn't seem like he knows. Which, is good. I need to keep it that way.

Riku walked in, sitting on one of the chairs up against the wall. He gave me a look, then turned. I couldn't tell what the look gave, though.  
Axel stirred again, this time opening his eyes. He turned to everyone, his face almost as red as his hair. "Its not as it looks..." He muttered, embarrassed.  
"I know, I know." Demyx chuckled, smiling. i got up, sitting cross legged on one end of the bed. "Roxas told us. That was very kind of you, Axel. Especially considering." Demyx smiled. I tiled my head, and one of the things Axel said hit me like a freight train.  
_"I know they helped me..."_

"Why'd you have panic attacks, Axel?" I asked, my head tiled as I asked him. Demyx visibly winced, as Axel blinked at me. His arms shook, and he stared at the bandages on his arms. "You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with it..."  
"No, no. You get a right to know..." Axel sucked in a deep breath before continuing. "My dad... He..." Axel rubbed his face, his whole body shaking violently. "My father abused me when I was little, too. My mom would rock me at night, when she thought I only had a bad dream. One night recently, I was playing with my lighter and smoking. My mom was coming upstairs, so I panicked and stomped out the cigarette. I went to Demyx's house right after my parents went to bed... The house burned down with them inside."  
"Axel, don't be so hard on yourself. You know what the fire fighters said. The dish burned on the stove, its not your fault-"  
Axel cut Demyx off, continuing. "thus, I feel the need to burn myself. I should've died in that fire, not them."  
"Oh, Axel..." I murmured, opening my arms. He stayed where he sat stubbornly, unmoving. His arms shook violently, and he held his stomach.  
"When you're me, you have you rely on only yourself.  
"You don't have to be that way, Axel..." I murmured, falling forward and planting my face in his chest. He sighed and petted my head, smoothing out my hair. He chuckled a bit, rubbing out my hair more.  
"You remind me of my cat. He always lays on me like this." I laughed, snuggling into his chest more and fake-purring. I meowed, and he laughed again. "I can see why you get called Roxy now."  
At that, Demyx laughed and sat down next to Riku. "So, you two get out today?" Demyx said, smiling.  
"_Its been three days?! There's no way!" _I shouted, shocked. Axel laughed again, smirking.  
"You were pretty hopped up on drugs the entire time. Your side always hurt, so they kept giving you pain meds. The first day, you slept almost a full day and night."  
"O-Oh..." I said, a bit embarrassed. That long? It doesn't feel like it... Then again, what do I know?

I sighed, pulling myself up and off of the bed. I bent over, pulling out a tub that held my normal clothes and boxers. Axel whistled, smacking my ass.  
I jumped, standing back up. Did he really just smack my ass? "The hell was that?"  
"Hey, I know a nice ass when I see one." Axel laughed, smiling. "Your ass looks very... feminine, I hope you know." I frowned, covering my ass with my hands self consciously.  
As I walked out to change, I got the strange feeling this could be the start of something beautiful.

* * *

AN:  
Its short again! I'm so sorry!  
I promise I'll have an extra long chapter really soon! I'm just trying to make sure I get anything posted ;n;  
I love all of you!  
Review please!  
Thank you c:  
Toodles~ c:


	7. Chapter 7

We all rode to Axel's small apartment in Riku's truck. Axel, Demyx and I sat in the truck bed, staring at Riku and Sora in the cab. Sora was snuggled under Riku's arm as Riku stared out at the road ahead.  
"I never knew Sora was..."  
"We never knew Riku was..." Axel muttered, hugging his legs. "I thought he was... Well,straight." Axel murmured, rubbing the back of his head.  
"Though, at one point, we _did_ know. Seeing as you and he used to date..." Demyx said, his attention on Axel. Axel's face suddenly flushed in embarrassment as he stared at his arms.  
Axel is gay?  
Well, that makes a lot of things make sense, to say the least. An image suddenly crossed my mind, stealing my attention. Axel and I were pressed together, our tongues moving together in perfect unity. His hand was pressed against my-  
_STOP._

Demyx tilted his head at me, confused. Then he smiled, saying "you know? You two should date. I think you'd make a cute couple. Besides, you're both acting blushy and shy anyway!"  
Axel and I snapped our heads up at that comment, glaring at Demyx. He laughed again, saying, "and Roxas can live with you, Axel. He wont have to endure his father anymore!"  
Axel sat up a bit straighter and blinked, nodding. "I guess you do have a point there. But only if he wants to." He paused, looking at me, cracking a smile. "I think I even know the perfect date."  
"Oh, fine. _Fine._" I sighed, rubbing my neck. Axel smirked triumphantly, just as the truck lurched to a halt. Riku and Sora got out of the truck, lowering the gate for us. I got up, moving towards the edge of the truck. Axel slapped my ass again, and I turned and hissed "_not until the date you horny bastard._"  
"Oooooh, feisty. " Axel said, smirking. "Fine. How's tomorrow sound? It'll be Saturday, just so you know."  
"That's fine." I said, hopping down. "Now, where is this ratty apartment of yours?"  
"Second floor." Axel said, scooping me up bridal style. My face turned red, and I beat my fists on his chest.  
"Set me down! _NOW!_" I yelled as Demyx and Riku laughed. Axel ascended the stairs carefully, making his way to the apartment.

He came to the door, setting me down and opening it. A cat bolted out, meowing loudly at Axel's feet.  
"And that, is Gilbert. He was my old neighbors cat. She died, and he didn't have a place to stay. So I took him in." Axel said, petting Gilbert's head as he walked into the apartment. I looked around, smiling. It looked very homey, and I liked the way it was set up a lot. I plopped down onto his couch, laying out lazily. I yawned loudly, right as Axel sat down on my ass. I sighed, silently giving up.  
"Theres no stopping you, is there?"  
"Nope." Axel said with certainty, his hand riding up the back of my shirt and making me shudder. Demyx then walked in, coughing loudly.  
"We're leaving. If you fuck, wear a condom Axel." Riku said, smirking.  
"_Who said he'd top?!_" I yelled, my arms and legs flailing madly. I would like to think I'm a dominant person, thank you!  
"The fact that he's riding your ass right now." Riku said, laughing as he closed the door. Axel fell backwards, laughing like a maniac. I felt my face turn red as I sat up and huffed angrily. What does he know, anyway?!  
Axel laughed, kissing my cheek and whispering, "you are really girly, you know."  
"Oh, shut up. I'm sleeping." I grumbled, getting up off of the couch. I wandered down the hall, finally finding his bedroom. It was covered in red and black, with the occasional white. The color scheme seemed to fit him very nicely, actually. It screamed _Axel_.  
I yawned and stretched, laying down on his bed. Axel appeared in the doorway, smirking.  
"Am I allowed in my own bed?" He asked, a hand on his hip as I got into a comfortable position.  
"If you keep your hands to yourself, yes." I said, as my eyes closed.  
And for the first time, I dreamed of love.

* * *

AN: Its short AGAIN. Jesus, I need to write longer! D:  
ANYWAY  
I love all of you! Sosososososo much! 3  
And I need help writing the date! If you have ANY ideas or suggestions, post a review with what _you _think should happen! I hope I'm writing this well... _  
And I have a really bad feeling that this needs to be switched to M. Because knowing me. x'D  
But anyway!  
I love you! Review and shtuffs, my pretties! c: 3


	8. Chapter 8

As I started waking up, I noticed Axel's arm wrapped around my midsection, and his face pressed against my neck. I blushed and sighed a bit, contented. My cell phone vibrated on the stand, my father's number flashing across the screen. I sighed, pulling myself up to answer the phone.

"Hello?" I asked, rubbing my forehead in irritation. And I was sleeping so well, too.  
_"Where the __**hell **__are you, boy?!"_  
"Sorry dad, i'm at a friends house. I'm staying the night. Is that okay?"  
_"Why didn't you run this by me, first?!"_ My father hollared into the phone, just as Axel stirred and sat up next to me.  
"Sorry, sorry. Can I stay?" I asked, Axel's palm riding up my stomach and stealing my breath from my chest.  
_"Oh, fine. Be back here tomorrow at 3." _He said, the line going dead. Axel's mouth pressed against my neck, making my face hot.  
"You're staying over?" He asked against my neck, his hands gracing my hips and sliding.  
"Y-Yeah." I said, my body trembling gently.  
"You make it _so _hard to stay off of you, you know that?"Axel sighed, getting up and off of the bed. "Now, what do you want to do? We can check Netflix for a movie or something... I don't have cable though. Its too much to pay for."  
"You know what I want to watch? Romeo and Juliet. The original movie." I said, sitting up.  
"That can be arranged." Axel said, smirking. He offered his hand, and I took it and stood up. "I'll arrange food and you get the movie ready?"

"Sure." I said, padding down the short hallway and into the living room. I turned on the Wii console, along with the TV. I typed in Romeo and Juliet in the search window, and a lame version recorded in 1996 came up. "They don't have that exact movie, but they have a version recorded in 1996 with Leonardo DiCaprio!"  
"Hey, we can try that!" Axel responded, a phone pressed to his ear as he rounded the corner from the kitchen. "Pizza okay with you?"  
"Yeah, thats fine!" I said, sitting down on the couch. Shortly after, Axel plopped down on the couch less-than-gracefully.  
"The pizza will be here in 15-20 minutes. We can go ahead and start the movie."  
"Alright." I said, hitting the play button.

It seemed to be if Romeo and Juliet was placed in the 1990's. Interesting concept, I guess. It'd probably help if they had changed the language _at all._ I rubbed my face and sighed. "Oh my God, this is terrible. If I was a gangster, I wouldn't be yelling about how someone _bit their thumb at me." _  
Axel laughed with me, nodding his head. "Makes sense." His attention turned to me, and he smiled quietly. "Now, can you guess what the date is tomorrow?"  
"A movie? I dunno. You don't seem quite like the creative type." I admitted, scratching the back of my neck.  
"No! No. We're going ice skating." Axel said, a bit embarassed. Then, he hurridly added, "unless you don't want to!"  
"Ice skating is perfect. Though, I'd really like _this _to be our first date..." I admitted again, half halfheartedly giving my attention to the movie. Leonardo was staring at some fish in a bathroom? I missed something, obviously.

"Well, ice kating can be the super-romantic first date that we tell everyone about. This-" he guestured to the movie on the screen, "can be our little secret. Just for you and me." Axel said, wrapping his arm around my hip and nuzzling my neck. I blushed, sighing contentedly. He then whispered to me, his lips centimeters from mine, "Is this okay?"  
I tried to form words to say okay, but only a squeak came out. he ever so gently pushed his lips to mine, his hand moving from my hip to the small of my back. His other hand moved to my hip, pulling me closer to him. Warmth radiated from his hands and lips, and I didn't want them to leave. Ever.  
He pulled away, his face pink. At that very moment, the doorbell rang singalling that the pizza had arrived. Axel stared into my eyes for a second, before getting up to answer the door. I looked at the screen, finally paying attention to the movie. We'd kissed in perfect sync with the couple on the screen.

Well, isn't that ironic?

* * *

AN: ITS SO SHORT OMIGOD  
JAYSUSSSSSS.  
I'm trying so hard to update every day, but they're gettings shorter and shorter! D:  
AND I HOPE TO GOD I DIDN'T MESS UP THAT KISS. ;n;  
And ice skating! :D This should be good. x'D  
Review my pretties! And tell me if you'd rather have short updates every day, or long updates over the period of a week or so~  
c:


	9. Chapter 9

Axel set the pizza down on the kitchen table, getting two plates and handing me one. I picked up a piece of pizza, looking up at Axel's face. My eyes instantly rested on his lips, and I lost my appetite. I set down the pizza, crossing my arms and leaning back on the cabinets. Axel looked up and smirked, putting his hands down on the counter tops behind me.

"Is that a hint?" he asked, his lips pressed to the corner of my mouth. I hummed and smirked, my arms wrapping around his neck.  
"Maaaybe?" Axel took that as his cue to push his lips fully to mine, his tongue pushing out of his mouth and to my lips. A soft moan left my mouth as I opened my mouth, giving him leeway. His hands traveled downt o my back, pulling me closer. And I had no complaints.  
Axel's tongue traveled the expanse of my mouth, pushing into corners and exploring every inch of my mouth. I finally found my voice, moaning very quietly as my tongue pushed into his mouth. Suddenly, Axel lifted me up and set me on the counter, his mouth latched onto mine.

"Hey you guys, I have Roxas's clo- ACK! STOP THAT!" Axel jumped away from me, both of our attention focused on Demyx. When did he get in here? I don't remember hearing the door opening! "Jesus you guys! Lucky for _you,_ I ran and got condoms." Demyx slapped a condom box down, sighing. "Make sure he can still _walk _tomorrow, Axel." I squeaked, my face turning red.  
"N-Not be able to walk?!" I turned to Axel, who blushed and shrugged. I shook my head, grabbing my clothes from Demyx and plopping back down on the couch. Axel joined me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He shooed Demyx out, laying down and dragging me with him. I cuddled against his chest, turning to the movie we'd left on. Juliet was ranting to herself, then Romeo crashed his car into Tybalt's. Gruesome, to say the least.  
I sighed and snuggled into Axel's chest, yawning. I stretched, rolling over and looking up at the ceiling.

"You know what? I'm going to go take a shower." Axel nodded, getting up and moving to the kitchen. I went to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. No need to lock it, I guess. I stripped off my clothes, looking at myself in the mirror. Scars laced my chest and arms, and I sighed. The door opened ever so slightly, but I didn't mind it. If it _is _Axel, then whatever floats his boat.  
I turned a bit more, looking at my back. A lot of the scars were _much _deeper than I had thought. I sighed again, looking down. I rubbed my neck, then got into the shower and closed the sliding glass door. I turned on the water, getting under it and letting it run all over my face and body. I let my muscles relax, sitting on the floor of the shower and laying on my back. The water rushed over my chest and neck, and the bathroom door opened.

"Hey- dude are you dead?" Axel asked, not seeing me in the shower.  
"No, just tired." I said, studying the ceiling.  
"You mind if I stay in here? Just gonna sit on the toilet." He said, still standing. I liked that he was asking my permission, honestly.  
"Yeah, that's fine." I said, playing with a stream of water running down my arm.  
"Why are you so tired all the time?"  
"Dunno. Sleep is good." I said, pausing a second to think. "Do we know why Riku and Sora got together? I'm so lost." I asked, sliding open the door wide enough for my face to be visible. "And get in here."  
Axel smirked, getting undressed as he talked. "I don't, either. I know they were getting awfully cuddly your first or second day." He dropped his boxers, and my face instantly flushed. Why did I tell him to get in here _naked _with me? Jesus Christ Roxas, you're smooth. He opened the door, getting in behind me and closing the door. He sat down, putting my head against his midsection. I yawned again, stretching. Suddenly, I got self conscious and covered my stomach.

"S-Sorry. I'm probably not he most appealing sight..." I muttered, sitting up a bit. Axel wrapped his arms around me, his hands pressed to my stomach.  
"Bullshit. You're beautiful, scars and all." His hands brushed against me, making me squeak. he smirked, his mouth pressed against my neck. "Even with those beautiful little squeaks." I could feel something hardening against my back, and I wasn't about to let myself wonder what it was. My breathing picked up, and I held my stomach defensively.  
"Having issues?" He asked, his hands lifting. "If this is too much..."  
"I-I just..." Sobs tore through my chest, tearing me apart. Axel immediately got up, and didn't touch me again. I hugged my legs, my sobs ripping through my body. Tears of pain and agony ripped through my body, causing me to scream out. Axel quickly shut off the water, throwing on his pants haphazardly. I sat and stared at the tub, unable to do anything but sob and scream. Axel carefully picked me up and set me on the toilet. He dried me off, and pulled my boxers onto my admittedly small frame. He picked me up again, and very carefully carried me into his room. He set me on the bed, pulling the covers over me. I shook gently, my whole body aching.  
Axel kissed my cheek, whispering. "Sweet dreams." He turned off the light, walking out of the room.

And for once, I wasn't tired.

* * *

AN: Hi, my pretties!  
Before I even say anything, **yes, our rating has changed. **I changed it to M because of this scene, and I was pushing the envelope on fanfiction's rating for T.  
You can't even have curse words, or its considered mature! Ugh.  
Hopefully that makeout scene didn't suck. I know I'm inexperienced, buttttt.  
I hope you like the chapter!  
Dont forget to review! c:


	10. Chapter 10

I lay in bed, hugging Axel's pillow. How am I supposed to sleep with what just happened? I sat up, flicking on the lamp beside me. I ran my hands through my hair, rubbing my face warily. I noticed my black book of thoughts on top of the clothes pile, and picked it up. Maybe I'll feel better if I write my feelings down?

_Hey, you. Been a while, hasn't it? Lots have changed in a short amount of time. Axel beat me up, found out my secret, and told me his own. And for whatever reason, I trust him with everything.  
and uhm.  
We're dating, too. Crazy, I know, but still. Though, I fear everything is going too fast, y'know? I was taking a shower, I invited him in, and he touched me. Yes, __**in that way**__. And I broke. I absolutely broke. How can I hope to be in a relationship if I can't handle sexual contact?  
Needless to say, we all know why. I'm going to try to go to sleep.  
- Roxas Strife_

I closed the book, leaning back and rubbing my forehead. I put the book back on the nightstand, hugging my legs to my chest.  
I can't breathe. I feel dad touching me and forcing me. I can't breathe. All I can do is sob, rocking myself back and forth defensively.  
Somewhere along the line, the choking in my throat subsided and I was able to fall asleep. I woke up at 11, rubbing my head warily. I got out of bed, looking in the mirror over Axel's dresser. I hissed lightly, seeing my puffy face and disheveled hair. I frantically tried to lay my hair down, my eyes shaded by overly puffy lids. I sighed, silently giving up the fight with my hair.

I opened the door and walked out into the living room, where Axel lay on the couch. He didn't seem to have changed his clothes, and he even seemed to be nodding off as I stood. He yawned and stretched, the muscles in his chest flexing as he did so. He looked up, finally realizing I was up and staring at him. I waved tiredly, laying down on the couch in front of him. He gingerly wrapped his arms around me, speaking into the back of my neck.  
"Is everything okay? What happened?" I debated on what was worth saying and what wasn't. I sighed, deciding he needed to know everything.  
"I had a panic attack. It was nothing you did, it was all mental... I'm sorry..." Axel nodded, his muscles tightening around me. "I was reliving everything.. I could practically feel his dick down my throat, choking me." I sobbed, my throat tightening and my body shaking. I could feel him ripping through me, and ripping me apart.

Axel tensed more, holding me closer and petting my hair. He whispered gently, calming me. "I wont ever do that again. And don't let me meet that twisted fuck." his voice got a malicious tone, as he gripped the front of my shirt. "Nobody does that to you. _Ever. _I'll fucking kill him before he thinks he can lay a hand on you again."  
I shook and nodded, turning around to bury my face into Axel's chest. He sighed, breathing in my scent and holding me. "Well, it's almost time for our date, Sleeping Beauty." He smiled, getting up and helping me up.  
"Is there a certain way I need to dress, or..?"  
"Nope, just bring you." He smiled, hugging me to him. I got up, going to Axel's room again to look at the outfit Demyx picked out. A white tank top and my black skinny jeans, along with a checkered bandanna I'd never seen before. I tilted my head, picking up a folded piece of paper. A letter? Why didn't he just tell me in person..?

_Hey, Roxy! I saw this outfit, and instantly thought of this bandanna. Wear it around your neck. Feel free to keep it :)  
_-_Demyx _

The hurriedly scrawled note screamed Demyx and I chuckled a bit. I pulled on the clothes, turning to look in the mirror. I saw myself and got little butterflies in my stomach. My first date! Oh man, I'm more feminine than I thought...  
I smiled at my reflection. For once, everything was going my way.

* * *

AN: Hi my lovelies!  
Sorry for the late updates, having personal issues :c  
Review please! I'll try my best to update!  
I love you all!  
Edit:  
Sorry for all of the typos! I was rushing to get this chapter out!  
I'm pretty sure I got them all though c:


	11. Chapter 11

Have you ever been on a date, and its so terribly awkward that you could probably cut the tension with a knife?  
This was one of those times.  
We're in the car, and I can't quit staring at my phone screen. He hasn't said a word since we got in the car, and it honestly feels like he's ignoring me.  
I rubbed my face a bit, deciding it would probably be a good idea to text _someone_ about how the date is going. I settled on Demyx, my fingers moving quickly across the keyboard

**_Me (12:51):_**** Demyx, ****_help me._**** My God. I think he's ignoring me. I want to sob.**

I rubbed my face again, pretending to be tired. Am I that boring, that all he can do is stare at the road? He can't be such a bad driver that he can't even talk when he's driving. Sora can talk and drive, and thats saying something.

My phone buzzed in my hand, and I snapped it open.

**_Demyx (12:53):_**** Stay cool! Are you guys at the rink, or...? Ask questions! Try to be sociable!**

I scratched the back of my neck, trying to pull a question from somewhere. I texted back as I thought, biting my lip.

**_Me (12:56):_**** No, we're on the way there. He's driving. What do I ask, man?! Augh!**

I snapped my phone shut, staring at my knees.

"So uh... What bands do you like?" I asked, sneaking a peek at him. What the hell kind of a question is that, Roxas?! Come on man, get it together! I winced at myself, waiting on a response.  
Absolutely  
nothing.

I sighed, and stared out the window. This is going horribly! Is he shy or something..?

The phone vibrated in my hand again, multiple times. Is Demyx spamming me or something? Maybe a long message... I opened the phone, looking down at the screen.

**_Demyx (1:08):_**** (1/2) Oh no, Roxas! He can't talk and drive! He used to do just about everything when he drove, and he got into a wreck. Ever since, he re  
**  
**_Demyx (1:08):_**** (2/2) fuses to talk or do anything while driving. Though, i'd imagine he'd let you know beforehand. Don't be hard on him!**

_Oh man! _I rubbed my head, feeling like an idiot. That makes a lot more sense than him ignoring me. I hurridly texted Demyx back, as he pulled into a parking space at the rink.

**_Me (1:10):_**** Oh Jesus! Thank you, Demyx! You really saved my ass! We're at the rink, I gotta go! Tell you about it later.**

I closed my phone, and turned sheepishly to Axel.

"H-Hey, Demyx told me-"  
"Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Rise Against. Just to answer your question." Axel smirked, getting out of the car. He closed his door and jogged to my side, opening my door for me.

"O-Oh. Thank you!" I smiled up at Axel, pocketing my phone. I climbed out of the car, sheepishly grabbing his hand. We walked towards the doors, and I stared at the ground. "So that's a strange combination of bands. Well, minus Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy, that's to be expected. But Rise Against? Kinda out of the blue.."

"Hey, don't hate. I listen to a lot of rock types anyway, so.." He smiled and opened the door for me, ushering me into the cold ice rink.

A gust of cold wind caressed my face as the door opened, and I shuddered involuntarily.

The ice rink was bright and well lit, with an all glass ceiling. I'd personally never been in the rink before, because I never had a reason to. I stopped and looked around, completely amazed. The ceiling was huge!  
I felt Axel's hand tugging me forward. He chuckled, shaking his head.  
"You're more ADD than I thought, darling."

_Darling? _I blushed a bit, staring down at my shoes. Axel and I reached the counter, and I couldn't help staring at my shoes. What were they thinking? Were they mocking us? Judging us?

"Hi, two ice skates please. Size 12 and.." Axel peeked down at my shoes that I was staring intently at, and he whispered, "what size?"

I choked a bit, and breathed out a 10. Axel chuckled, saying "And a 10." The guy across the counter nodded, moving to go grab the skates. Axel moved his hand up to my upper arm, his mouth against my ear. "Don't be shy. Pretend its just you and me." I blushed, and I moved my face closer to his. Our cheeks touched, and he smirked. "Thats better. Just you and me. No fear, okay?" I nodded quietly, blushing again.

The clank of the skates hitting the counter snapped us out of it, and the guy smiled. "For the beautiful couple. No shame."

Axel smiled, and nodded. "Thank you, very much. Have a nice day!" Axel turned me around to some benches, and pushed me ever so gently into the bench. "It might help if you got your skates on." He chuckled, getting on one knee to help me get them on. I blushed, staring at my lap while he did so.

With both of our skates on and ready to go, we unsteadily walked to the edge of the rink. Axel smiled at me, and then stepped with one foot onto the ice. He grabbed the side of the rink to keep him steady, and he put his other foot down on the ice.

"Never done this before?" He smiled, motioning for me to come onto the ice with one hand. "I'll get you, I promise." Like shit i'm gonna go into the ice! I'm gonna fall on my ass and look like an idiot! I squirmed, deciding to just take a leap and go for it. I put one foot onto the ice, and it slid towards Axel. He grabbed my hips, pulling my other foot onto the ice. I yelped, thinking we were gonna fall. Axel chuckled, his mouth right next to my ear again.

"I told you i'd catch you."

* * *

AN: i'm so sorry!  
I'm having to cut this part in two, to save me more time! I'm having the wORST time trying to write this, and my brain is frying. Review with ideas for the date, I really need them!  
I'm sorry if this is crappy adkgalsdg  
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry ;n;  
Review lovelies! c:


	12. Author's Note

Hello, everyone.  
I know this is extremely against the rules, and this will be removed shortly.  
But I don't think i'm going to be writing this anymore. Or at least, not the way it's down now. I have to do some serious revising, and I don't think it'd fit into this frame. (And I don't know how well it'll work completely uprooting chapters to be replaced with new ones.)  
If anyone was interested in this plotline and such, message me. Maybe you can write it better than I did?  
I dunno.  
But anywho.  
Thank you for reading this chapter authors note thingy.  
I still love you all.  
~ FireBird1211


End file.
